The holidays are usually a time for joy and celebration, but after a breakup, they can feel like anything but. When you’re newly single, suddenly all of your holiday plans feel are thrown up in the air. You may be asking yourself, “What now?” You were expecting to spend this season with someone special. However, you’re now left to figure out how to make it through the holidays alone.
Before you write off the holidays completely, let’s break it down and look at ways to get through this time of year without feeling overwhelmed. Because there are ways to make it through the holidays without too much dread. So, how do you survive the holidays after a breakup?
Prepare For What You Are About to Face
You’re not a psychic or a mind reader, but hear me out. As women, we prepare for job interviews and major exams, so why not use the same approach to get through the holidays? Acknowledge that this season will be a bit different than you originally planned and that’s okay. It might be hard, but it doesn’t have to be terrible. Think about what situations you may face, questions you may get asked, and so on.
This approach will help you to be prepared and not blindsided by all of the emotions that will inevitably come up. This way you can also think of prepared responses to these situations or questions. For example, if someone asks you why the relationship ended, you will have a prepared answer. Or, if you show up to a holiday event alone, you will have a plan of action. Taking this approach will help you feel more in control when dealing with the aftermath of your breakup.
Journaling and Reflecting
Journaling and reflecting on the relationship can greatly help you to process your emotions and the aftermath of the breakup. As you’re reflecting, you can process what things went wrong in the relationship and why the relationship ended. Also, look back at the things you have learned from the relationship and what it has taught you about your needs in a partner. This will help you to move forward and be better prepared when you are ready to find a new partner.
Writing down your thoughts, feelings, dreams, and fears can also help you to gain clarity and insight. You can also set goals for yourself during this season as well as make plans for how you will approach the holidays. For example, if you know that a certain family gathering is going to be hard, make a plan of action for how you will handle being there and getting through it.
Decide On What Will Help You Feel the Most Soothed
When you’re in the midst of breakup grief, it can seem like all that you want to do is cry, sleep, and watch Hallmark movies. Maybe even eat some ice cream or drink hot cocoa while doing so. And that’s okay! If this is what helps soothe yourself and your soul, then go for it! However, don’t keep yourself isolated because this can turn into a snowball effect.
Being alone might feel good at first, but after a while, it can start to take a toll on you. It’s important to find a balance between taking care of yourself and also allowing yourself to be around people. So, schedule reasonable amounts of time to spend with you people. You know, the ones that WANT to spend time with you. These are the people who will help you get through this season! So, if you need or want something, let them know. More than likely, they will be happy to help.
Remember the Joy of Holidays Past, and Create New Traditions
At times, it can be hard to remember times before the breakup, but try to remember the joy and celebration that comes with the holidays. Remember what made you smile before and recreate those moments during this time. You, your friends, and your loved ones can recreate traditions that were around before your partner came into the picture.
Additionally, you can also create new traditions that are all your own. Maybe set up a cookie party with some of your friends where you bake tons of cookies and decorate them together. Or, you can have a movie marathon of your favorite holiday flicks. It’s okay to have fun, despite your current situation.
Take the Pressure off Financially
If you’re in a new financial situation due to the breakup, don’t stress about it. Now is not the time to try to buy your way out of a broken heart. There are plenty of ways to show love and appreciation and have a good time with your family and friends without breaking the bank. Such as agreeing to have a budget for gifts or even making homemade gifts. Or, think about planning a day trip with your closest friends and family instead of buying them tons of gifts. Making memories and showing love is much more meaningful than material items.
Breakups can be hard, especially during the holidays. But remember that you don’t have to spend your holidays mourning the loss of a relationship. You can use this season to find joy, peace, and appreciation for yourself and those around you. It might be hard but it is totally worth it! Have a very happy and safe holiday season. Celebrate YOU!
Begin Counseling for Women in Orange County, CA
Breakups around the holidays can be especially hard for women after a breakup. However, you had moxie before, you still have it now, and can use it to get through this season. Consider counseling for women in Orange County, CA if you want extra support. You don’t have to navigate this season alone, and a therapist can provide the tools necessary to help make it through. Our team of caring therapists is here to support you through the healing process and provide the tools to help you move forward To start your therapy journey with Moxie Family Therapy, please follow these simple steps:
- Contact Moxie Family Therapy
- Meet with a caring women’s therapist
- Enjoy the holidays and make new memories!
Other Therapy Services Offered at Moxie Family Therapy
At Moxie Family Therapy, we know there are plenty of women struggling with various issues during the holidays. This is why our therapists provide a variety of therapy services online and in-person at our Orange County, CA-based practice. We offer counseling for young adults, children, women, teens, and couples. Additionally, we offer therapy for therapists, clinical supervision, adoption therapy, art therapy, and play therapy. Our team is also happy to support the LGBTQ+ community. Contact us today and learn how we can help you reclaim your moxie.
About the Author
As a compassionate therapist in Orange County, CA, Melissa Mellon, LMFT understands that going through a breakup during the holiday season can be especially challenging. With her expertise in working through relationship challenges and trauma, Melissa offers a safe and supportive space to help women navigate this difficult time. She provides practical coping strategies to help manage feelings of loneliness, grief, and stress. Melissa helps clients redefine their priorities and work towards creating fulfilling lives. She offers a consultation to see if she would be a good fit for therapy and is committed to helping her clients find hope and happiness during the holiday season and beyond.